The End.

gavin and i were supposed to meet for some mcdonald's. then only after i stepped out of the lift did i realise that some guy jumped off the block opposite mine a while ago. being the typical kaypoh singaporeans, gavin and i (& dad), went to check it out as the undertakers rolled up his bloody corpse in a white plastic sheet.

i watched, with a mixture of curiosity and fear. i didn't know what i was fearing about, but i know i was admiring the man's courage for jumping off. not really admirable, of course. but..he had the courage to do so yknow? maybe he was really upset, really desperate, really broke, or all of them.

and so we headed for macs (yar, we could still eat). and when i was having my nice cup of iced milo, did i ponder. that man, will never get to drink iced milo again. he'll never get to eat macs again.

okok that's besides the point.

and my point is, he'll never get to enjoy the simplicities of life again. never will he be able to feel the breeze, never will he see a tree, or a bird flying in the sky again. never will he hear laughter, or walk, or speak..or open his eyes.

and i got pretty disturbed by that.

told gavin about it, and he probably didn't pay much notice to this.

when do people start appreciating the simple things that are all around them? everyone's just busy. with school, work, etc etc.

i love the wind. it makes me really happy when i feel a simple breeze. i don't have air con in my room like most people, and i think i'm all right without it. i wanted a larger bed, then thinking after thinking about it, nah..it's alright. i'm fine with my current one too. when i get shitty stuff coming at me. i think, "hey i'll get through it soon. i have my loved ones around me. if i don't, i have myself. i'll have better days."

i don't bother myself with too much shopping anymore, or it'll never end. i go home for dinners now, so i can appreciate the effort contributed by whomever cooked dinner (blah). i don't bother myself with gossips any more - i get them a lot, and i don't care cus it's just tiring. no matter how bad my gossips get, no matter how hypocritical and mean those people out there can be, i'll still prefer a cuppa tea over getting upset about it anytime.

i've learnt from bad relationships, and the worst one was treated as a lesson learnt. and it taught me to cherish whoever i have now, because nothing could have been shittier than in the past. i believe that if i'm doing good, i'll get good returns. karma, they call it. it almost sounds vulgar to me - like a curse. 'beware of karma' and all that shit. whatever. if you've done wrong in the past, try to amend it now. it's never too late. no matter how bad things get, there's always a way out.

i can be a nun already. and so i digressed. now back to that man.

yar and the thing is, he must've been around..40 or more? judging from his appearance i think. he must have experienced loads, and perhaps many shitty stuffs too.

and then..

THUD.

his life ended. right there, at that moment.


he won't even know what will be going on in the next minute. okok i know, that might've been his purpose for committing suicide. but it's silly ain't it? problems can always be solved.

and that's unless you have some terminal illness you don't want to spend money curing for your entire life (e.g. kidney failure)


and what about your loved ones?







they probably loved you more than you think they did.