The thing about women with Menopause.

i'm sorry my friends, but I NEED TO VENT.

my mom, is a very very complacent woman. there is this thing about her that she'll never appreciate every single shit i do for her. i cook dinner every single night, i wash the laundry, i wash the dishes. she doesn't have a good command of english, so i draft letters for her EVERY DAY. i run errands for her. sometimes, i also do the marketing for her. and i use my own allowance.

it really doesn't matter when she lets all of these pass without saying 'Thank you'.

but when i have forgotten to rinse the clothes ONE TIME in the washing machine, i get fucked to the sky. she screamed at me like i was still 12. HELLO, on my last count, i'm twenty fucking one this year. old enough to be a mother. old enough to move out and lead my very own life. she said that i have no sense of responsibility. that i do not care about this family at all. she claims that i always laze around at home without doing any chores. told me that i do not deserve luxury of any form, and i should not turn on the air con at night when i sleep because i don't deserve it. and the last time i remembered, she was sleeping in the air con room with my siblings and my dad turned on the air con for himself in the other room, while i used the fucking fan. and yes, that was because i was trying to save on the utility expenses. i do not deserve something i bear not use.

and also, i was told the leave the house if i do not care for the family. my dearest beloved mother is telling me to leave this house that i've been living in since forever, because i forgot to rinse the clothes for ONE TIME in the washer? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! i don't even see my siblings helping! i started cooking dinner for my family every night since i was in secondary 2, and my useless sister is all about listening to her ipod and reading comics when she's home from school. i'm not even expecting her to do the same as i did, but at least try to help! i cannot cope with the chores alone, and now i'm being blamed for NOT doing any of it.

nearly every time my mom's home and doing some chores (i.e. washing the dishes/hanging the laundry), she'll be tearing, screaming and shouting at me for being useless in this household. my dad, being the useless man he already is in this house, will then question me, 'WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN HELPING HER?'. he is the LAST person i can ever talk to about this problem. i have had enough. my mom needs a wake up call. she needs an ultimatum. she will never realise how much she needs me till the day i move out. till the day i stop cooking, cleaning and washing all together.

she told me, "i am your mother, i am not a maid. i do not deserve to be doing all of these."

so because i am her eldest daughter, i deserve to be treated like a maid?

this is not the first time i'm unappreciated.

i really need to move out.