Pressure

i'm just done with a 51 page report due for submission later in the afternoon, and i have another exploratory study and 2 individual reports due on friday. i work very well with pressure, but the late night tolls and excessive eating makes me feel like jupiter with craters.

so anyway, now with less than a few weeks till the end of school (if i don't fail any modules), i'm getting asked this question a lot: "so what are you going to do now?". or sometimes, "so what job are you going to take up?".

normally i'll just answer things like, "anything related to my study," but in my head i'm actually thinking THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO NOW IS TO FIND A JOB AND WORK.

call me lazy, call me unambitious, call me the valedictorian of procrastination--i don't care. i wouldn't mind being a homemaker all my life and take pride in keeping my nest clean. and honestly, SO WHAT if i get a job? and so what if i don't want to get a job?

i used to visualise myself as a career woman, doing very well in my career with a great family to love. but as i matured grew up, i realised that all i want to do is to be the best homemaker ever. 我只是个小女人。people might think, "that puts your bachelors to waste,". if knowledge is acquired, it's never going to be rendered useless. and what makes you think, in the first place, what you learnt was useful? you're only after that paper, aren't you?

people tell me about their plans all the time--big plans. they want to excel in their career, start a business, or maybe be an SQ girl. scratch the last one, it's no plan.

just take a look at yourselves. are you where you wanted to be 5 years ago? will you be where you want to be 5 years later? or even a year from now? ARE YOUR PLANS EVEN WORKING? no one will have the answer, because no one knows for sure, so never be too quick to judge before you succeed yourself.

some people have the biggest dreams; but they are only dreams. they always have expectations, but they never want to take what's coming at them. you're young, and there's no point being that stressed about the future; unless you're having a baby tomorrow.

and also, stress makes you ugly.