Isn't it funny how life works wonders in its little ways? Good or bad, it changes you, bit by bit. A transformation. There's nothing you can do to avert it, yet you try to warp these situations in your favour. When it works out, you're blessed. If it doesn't, you're still cursed.
But ultimately you're still..essentially you—equally cursed and blessed.
it's been too long, and yet sometimes, i still think about you. the words you say, the things you do.
i look back on the past entries in this blog, and i am overcome with mixed emotions. i loved you dearly, and it pained me to see you hurt.
but at the very end, you hurt me.
i used to fill this space up with so many words, so many thoughts, so much feelings.
a few times i've come back here, only to type a few words, backspace a little, then eventually closing the page. i find it hard to pen down my thoughts when i'm happy. i turn to facebook, i turn to tumblr, because that's where i see colours from pictures that evoke old happy feelings from memories that are seemingly fresh..and vivid. (http://theadventuresofabby.tumblr.com/ hahahahaha marketing)
i also blame twitter. damn you, all 140 characters.
i blame it on technology because it allows me to update my thoughts real time, any time, any where. it's also ironic how i used to blame the new age for having blogs--we never write in those little diaries anymore. this is also where i blame technology for my bad handwriting.
the reason why i'm here at this late hour (time check: 5:55 am) is because...oh crap i forgot. but this is me now, i never stay focused on anything too serious for too long. this is also why i'm happy.
Happy is such a commonly overused, and abused word. i am happy, euphoric, and feeling out of this world. but i like the word Happy. i am therefore, happy.
i love facebook. i am always on facebook. i scroll through photos, updates, of everything, of everyone. ironically, i do not make friends on facebook. which kind of defeats the purpose, since it's a social networking site, right? but i have my social network--only not that big, and i'm happy with it. some people say facebook causes break ups. to that, i say "fast foods causes obesity, spoons make you choke and water drowns you."
it's all about learning to make the right decisions, no matter where you're at. i have made pretty bad decisions in my life, but that's how i learn to make better ones. we don't all need a scapegoat for our seven sins.
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it's 6:13 am, and yet i still can't sleep. not the slightest hint of weariness. i've been told over and over, by everyone that my body clock is screwed. but really, all i did was travel into the past and the future (uncool reference: different GMT time zones). give me time, and i will sleep when that time comes.
sometimes though, i do feel like i run on batteries. it's not good for my body, but i also get so much down time it's not even funny. right now, i am on friggin' leave for eleven days. E-L-E-V-E-N. but it's all good, because i love it when it's just me and my music.
"Solitude is blessed, and alone is okay."
