You might not want to bother reading this.

loved dinner, despite the sucky food my maid prepared. besides the crabs. the crabs my mom cooked are absolutely delicious. Mmm succulent chilli crabs.

i've got bad news.

i haven't been accepted into SIM.

whyyyy oh whyyy haven't i been accepted?? the person told me a diploma is suffice!

only when i continued reading with sadness did i find out that the july intake only admits working adults! oh silly me.

and dad was going on about his cousin's studies in new zealand. yeah his uncles' children are pretty young, like 20-ish? like he was wondering why on earth other people's children can do well and study overseas or get accepted into local unis yada yada while his daughter is such a disappointment when it comes to grades. local uni grads are like sure wins and bummers like me are surely confirmed guaranteed losers!

well actually for starters, you don't really need exceptionally good grades to go overseas to study. if my dad is rich, i would have been in (insert atas country name here) studying and partying my arse away.

actually, i would kill for a chance to study overseas. a part of me wants to flyyyy out of singapore and experience a new life in somewhere nice.

right before graduation, my mom actually asked me to consider being a flight stewardess. i wasn't exactly keen about it, but i thought it might be a good experience. i get to travel around and see the world, and the pay is actually quite attractive. i might actually use the pay for my studies!

so i filled up the application form, but never sent it in.

firstly, what if i'm too ugly for them!? next, gavin didn't like the idea of it at all. there he'll be bidding his time in NS, and there i am flying around near everyone else but him. and many seem to think of flight stewarding as a 'low-class job'. oh wow. so must work in an office then high class la? LASTLY, (okay don't laugh) i have a nose bleeding problem. what? cannot is it? my nose bled buckets on my return flight to singapore and i think i will never be a flight stewardess. like, NEVA.

i've ever considered being a zoo keeper too. hehe.

okay let's abandon that subject. i really reaaaally want to go to murdoch but i guess the application date's over? ): and my parents kept telling me to show them the courses and modules and fees and such, which i did btw. but they keep telling me to evaluate properly and not choose the wrong uni just because i like the name of the modules (wth hahah). and you never know how some private schools are unstable and might just run off with your school fees (UNSW).

but i am pretty sure i want that. this sounds weird, but i want to study now.

i really fear working life. like, real jobs in offices. not part time jobs as some usher or promoter or cashier or counter girl (i've actually done 3 out of those 4 before, go figure). but i still feel really guilty when i receive my allowances each week.

at this point, i should be either:
1) working my arse off 9 - 5 everyday and contribute to family allowances
or
2) working AND studying my arse off, then pay my own school fees
or
3) study full-time like a nerd. 8o)

well i'm doing neither of those 3.

ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING/STUDYING AFTER GRADUATION ALREADY??

as guilty as i may seem, i kinda seem to enjoy my life now though. am i supposed to feel guilty about that too?


i hate clichés, but I NEED A JOBBBBBBB!


Edit: Uniqlo is coming to singaporeeeeeeee omg must buy buy buy when the store opens. hopefully i won't be shopping with young minahs. ): they should just continue living with their red skinnies.

H&M is coming to sg too, but none for me pleeze. :/